First one who came to my mind. Not sure Luke Wilson is very much better.

Well, strangling animals, golf, and masturbating.

Commodore Basic represent!

I went on a ‘Business Enterprise’ programme back in the UK in the very early ‘90s. Basically it was how to run a business 101. Six sessions on different things: accounting, HR, etc. etc.

One of the other guys on the course turned out to be the son of the biggest coke dealer in the city.

He was a nice kid. By the end of the course a bunch of us had bonded and someone invited us all to a house party.

The son of the coke dealer turned up with a briefcase literally full of cocaine. That was a fucking awesome party, let me tell you.

Take your upvote you filthy bitch!

Oh, and if you like the CDK choreograhy, but this ‘yeah, it’s good but they cheat with all those cuts’, here’s the live version. Which is maybe even more impresssive.

Don’t know if it counts since it’s not their music video, but CDK’s choreography to Goyte’s 'Somebody That I Used To Know is amazing (something different to watch every time you play it through) and outshines the official music video.

OK Go have some good videos too, like Here It Goes Again or I Won’t Let You Down.

I also find WORLD ORDER “Have a nice day” strangely mesmerising.

Apple Watch 2. I use it for regulating my emotions. Any time my rage needs managing I ask it a simple question like “Battery?” and its complete inability to hear, understand, and respond in less than five attempts really gets the rage pumping.

Oh, mate, why would you cite Pukka pies as an example of good British food. They’re the Kraft dinner macaroni cheese of British pies.

WTF is ‘bark’ candy?

Shepherd’s pie is lamb, Cottage pie is beef.

I lived in the US for a while and never once had proper fish and chips. Even the ‘English themed pubs’ didn’t do it right.

But there’s some amazing American food and if you’re just looking for British fish and chips while abroad you might as well go on a package holiday.

Phall. If you know, you know.

When I lived in the states for a while, I’d often crave a curry. Me and another Brit would head out to an Indian restaurant and usually order a Vindaloo. The waiter would say “Are you sure, it is quite spicy hot.” And we’d tell him we were British and he’d say “Oh, I understand.” and give us what we’d asked for without further comment.

Oh, this isn’t ‘rando’. Chippies in Scotland will deep fry any fucking thing. Pizza? Standard. Mars bar? Of course! In some chippies you can even take something you’ve bought somewhere else and ask if they’ll batter and fry the fucker for you and they’ll say yes.

Whenever I get home to Scotland, my personal supper of choice is the haggis supper - a sausage of haggis meat, battered and deep fried, and served with beautifully fried chips, of course. The second night I’m home (especially if the wife isn’t with me) is a haddock supper. Fuckin’ grand.

I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, but I’m told by those who do that the deep fried Bounty is just the wrong side of the acceptable line of deep fried sweet shit.

Only the Brits would colonize half the world looking for spices and then refuse to use them in their food.

Oh, do fuck off. It’s such a tired cliché and wrong. Our traditional dishes predate conquering almost the entire fucking world. So, no, they don’t tend to feature spices other than pepper and nutmeg because that was all we had 500 years ago.

But now our national dish is chicken tikka masala. We love our BIR curries, like Madras; Jalfrezi; Vindaloo; Korma; Pathia; and Balti. These were invented here, in the UK, for UK palates. So you can fuck off and shove whatever cuisine your country has up your fucking arse while you’re at it.

They make a mean Irish stew in Northern Ireland. So, yes, Irish stew.

I didn’t forget it. I’m just not a massive fan of toad in the hole, tbh.

Let’s start with:

Fish and chips
Chip butty
Yorkshire fishcake butty
Whitebait
Scottish smoked salmon
Cromer crabs
Potted shrimp
Scallops and Black Pudding
Sunday Roast (beef, lamb, pork, chicken, vegetarian)
Beef Wellington
Full English
Full Scottish
Full Welsh
Ultster Fry
Deviled kidneys
Mixed grill
Gammon, egg and chips
Steak and Ale pie
Steak and oyster pie
Meat and potato pie
Pork pie
Chicken and Mushroom pie
Scotch pie
Game pie
Fish pie
Shepherd’s pie
Cottage pie
Steak and kidney pudding
Lancashire hotpot
Irish stew
Cornish pasty
Scotch egg
Sausage roll
Ploughman’s lunch
Haggis
Afternooon / Cream / High Tea
And of course the full range of BIR curries: Chicken Tikka Masala; Madras; Jalfrezi; Vindaloo; Korma; Pathia; and Balti
And a bunch of puddings and sweet things, sticky toffee pudding, apple pie, mince pie, hot cross buns, etc., but I don’t have a sweet tooth

Depending on where you get said foodstuffs it can be everywhere from grim inedible sadness to glorious sublime perfection.

ratatouille

What madness is this?

I have absolutely no idea who Hasan Piker is.