There was a terrible standup bit that I loved. I believe it was from An Evening at the Improv.

Guy is doing a bad private eye shtick: “Either this man was stabbed to death with a spoon, or his entire body is breaking out in little smiles.”

I have searched online for the clip for literally over a decade, and I know this because I searched once a few years ago and found… myself asking the exact same question on a forum a decade earlier.

Man, I am so glad my eye doctor told me it wasn’t worth it rather than just taking the money!

The answer is that Lasik isn’t a cure-all.

I had the same experience. My vision was getting kinda bad and I wanted Lasik. I went to an eye doctor, and while I am farsighted in the left eye, the right is 20/20.

Lasik would fix the farsightedness, but having that in one eye is an asset for driving. So now I have driving glasses and won’t worry about Lasik.

Better Call Sol.

It’s existence led to this Mr. Show skit.

And I am sorry to say this, but Mustmayostardayonnaise Lincoln was a Jan 6th rioter. (I secretly love having used that brand new sentence.)

New campaign in my D&D world.

700 years ago the moon fell and devastated the land.

This island in particular almost split in two entirely, and a minor god died in the process of saving it.

Now the characters are sent on a mission to prevent a war by destroying one side of the land. In the process they may uncover how they are being used, by who, what really happened back then, who the god was, and the real danger to the lands.

Or they can just do what they were told and blow stuff up… except one character is a secret agent hoping to destroy the other side if it comes to that.

I’m tired of all the non-fascists bitching about the non-purity of other non-fascists.

We are supposed to be allies. If we can’t work together, we deserve to lose.

ALL OF THAT, JUST FOR A SAFE CAREER IN ACTING?!

Community - The slogan was ‘Six seasons and a movie.’

We are still waiting for our goddamned movie!

I made a new D&D campaign in my world. Haven’t had inspiration in a while but I am having a great time with it.

I am hoping to eventually publish some of it more as inspiration for other DMs than to make much money.

In the process of making the map and history for this campaign, I made an unrelated place on the map that is worthy of its own adventure. That kind of unintentional synergy is greatly satisfying, and if I do want to publish the damned thing, a nice bonus.

Also, my players are loving it and unknowingly made a perfect party for my shenanigans.

It’d be even more amazing if the original owner was still around and then it was stolen.

I’m a Community superfan. Still waiting on the movie.

I am a hobbyist writer.

I have a ton of great ideas that I do not have the talent to bring to fruition.

I don’t know which is the best.

Revisit your project.

Claim your place among the titans of mathematics!

I try to be better here than the/my tone was on reddit.

I hate what rampant capitalism and conservatism has done to my world.

I hate key players that forge that reality.

But I try not to hate the people. We feel powerless, and that is why so many of us lash out. I can forgive some of that.

Holy shit that is every comment from you.

I don’t see that as a downside. Be mysterious.

Not exactly misheard but what I came up with and which became canon to my household despite not really sounding alike:

Tape Five’s ‘Taxi to Bombay’ became ‘Text me Your Butthole.’ (And please do not.)

Edit: Just remembered an actual misheard one. I am a bit hard of hearing, and the They Might Be Giants song Subliminal I heard as Submersible. Considering that the lyric is ‘Subliminal… in an unnoticeable way,’ my interpretation was pretty damned funny.

Don’t worry about the difficulty level and just play for the story.

If that isn’t for you, then definitely throw in the towel. I am truly biased though as I have played D&D for a good deal of my life.

This name was made for a MUD back in 1994. The full name is Pronell Mordini, and he was a perrin (otterfolk) merchant king, a background character in the world.

I was tasked with making my own palace and marketplace but the game shut down months later.

I’ve more or less been using the name online ever since then, as it’s almost never taken. Someone did get to pronell@gmail.com first, but who cares, especiially now?

My wife sometimes goes by Mrs. Pronell online. I’ve teased her that it should technically be Mrs. Mordini.