You put in a lot of effort on this joke so I’ll give an upvote and this comment

“It’s eerily beautiful. Are you sure it’s safe?” - Marge Simpson

I learned something new today!

40%? Where do you work because I certainly don’t get that high of a percentage

Thank you for that!

My guess would be some value stability at all costs, others value user control, and others value uptime.

simple update and sleep should not result in a black screen on any OS IMO

That’s the thing. Different distros handle it in different ways. Some have the option to do offline updates so it will not actually install the update until after reboot so there is minimal risk of something interfering. That’s why often the recommendation is to try and find one that is more stable if that is what you value more.

Missed opportunity to say “twink 18 beers”

But can you play Doom?

The reason they are doing that is because the capitalists have painted themselves in a corner. Wealth inequality is growing wider and wider to where it is hard for the working class to continue to ignore. People are upset and need scapegoats. You can only blame immigrants for so much. So they promise to come in and “disrupt” the government’s bureaucracy. Of course the real reason to do that is not for the benefit of the working class, it is to benefit Trump and the wealthy that inflate his ego.

But you are right that they have forgotten that people get upset when the trail of corruption leads straight to them instead of being obfuscated in bureaucracy.

It’s the only Vaporeon meme I’ve seen. Judging by your comment, I don’t want to see the others O_O

Now you have to move on to obscure open source hardware. Linux phone and/or a RISC-V computer

Exactly!

Millennial here. We ruined all the funny numbers by simply existing.

Maybe they are all gay Nazis. I’m not saying openly gay, but gay nonetheless

“So long Antonio. Things could have worked between us if you weren’t as red as the blood spilling from your gunshot wound.”

–An excerpt from Daria Morgendorffer’s short story about espionage

Still cheaper than buying two sticks of RAM today

It sounds like maybe a rolling release distro like openSUSE Tumbleweed is not the best fit for you. The ‘fix the system after updates’ is supposed to be part of the fun for those that like rolling release.

I would suggest switching to a point release type distro, where you may end up with some bugs for a while, but they are the same bugs that you can figure out workarounds for.

edit: grammar

I too jump for joy outside of the camera frame

I feel like this should be crossposted to c/lemmybewholsome