Nope, they was abusive and controlling to me. I’m glad I did dump them via texts

I have been for quite a few of them. We’ve fallen out of contact now. I think it’s a good thing to be. But if either of you are heart broken, you need to cut off contact for a while to really get over them before you can be friends.

I have had three serious relationships prior to my current one and I have lost contact with all of them.

None of the break ups were all that messy. In two of them we just grew bored of each other and the third one ended because I moved.

I never bothered to keep in touch with any of them or reach out to any of them. When it is over it is over.

I don’t see how I could downgrade the relationship to a “friends” level.

You both need a time off, stop or make interactions really “rational and controlled”. It takes time to shift to different dynamic between you two.

Once you both (or at least one of you) get new partners, things will be more promising for a genuine friendship.

Otherwise, lingering feelings or “emotionally weak” days seriously risk ruining the relationship and make things permanently awkward.

source: my own experience. I am best friends with my ex. And lived the process myself.

No, but I wouldn’t be opposed with any of them but one. That one can go fuck herself.

Ended a 16 year relationship a couple of months ago. No hard feelings, still friends. It’s easier that way :)

It’s actually my entire friend group rn lol. One of my exes from high school has been my best friend for 10 years. I made up with my ex I dated during college after a super messy break-up and now we hang out and watch anime together. Recently, I had a very short term long distance fling with a guy I met on here, and we still chat about gaming and politics and shit on Discord multiple times a week.

I’ve definitely had messy and bad relationships that were just unsalvageable, but I really don’t like throwing people away after I’ve shared a bunch of my life with them. The only weird part is how many of my friends have seen me naked.

not really anymore, but only for usually drifting apart from old friends reasons. it is hard (for me) to maintain friendships when the other party lives thousands of kilometers away, and everyone is too poor and busy to travel.

I wasn’t gonna comment but for sake of diversity I feel you deserve at least one good one. I’m actually quite close with one of my exes from 13 years ago. We dated when I was graduating highschool he broke up with me (very respectfully. He basically just told me I deserved someone who liked me as much as I like them, and he was right).

Anyway, he and I didn’t really hang out much or talk much for a while but we were in the same community and would see each other at metal shows all the time and weren’t unfriendly but would just kind of live our own lives. Once my ego healed a bit from being dumped we did hook up a couple times. Then some time passed and I met my partner of now over a decade. Anyway, me and the ex still chat, he’s met my partner and they get along very well. My ex is a genuinely kind and funny guy and I would be a reference for him any day and I consider him more my friend than my ex at this point.

I really do think time apart is important because they need to become not a constant fixture in your life before you can repair the relationship to “friend” level.

ex of mine and I are, dated a bunch in college and broke up amicably. she gave a toast at my wedding lol

I have some exes that I wanted to and could be friends with (one I was for several years). But it just doesn’t fly with a new domestic partnership. I can tell my current girlfriend that I’m going to see female friends, but going out with friends who I’ve previously had sexual relations with is stretching it. I wouldn’t want my girlfriend to do that and so I won’t do it to her.

It makes me a bit sad, but I have effectively ended those friendships by no longer agreeing to seeing them.

I also have exes that I wouldn’t wish on my biggest enemy and I avoid them like the plague.

Yeah, I’m friends with 2, we were in a poly relationship and I quit. My mentall health was awful which was affecting my relationships with them, so I distanced away for like 2 years. Now we speak regularly, share some news and stories, they even wanna invite me to their wedding, I’m so happy for them🥹

Depends.

Some I cultivated afterwards - gave some space, and later pitched a “I don’t want to get back together but I miss hanging out. Lemme buy coffee” to usually good effect. If you’re compatible as friends still, it could be a very strong friendship. But you broke up for a reason, so keep that in mind.

But sometimes you’re really incompatible and a simple friendship isn’t even healthy for you two. That’s okay too.

Buddy I’m not friends with anyone - despite my best efforts.

I like to say “relationships don’t end, they change.” I’m friendly with a lot of my exes for the same reasons I was into them in the first place.

For others, the relationship changed into the kind without speaking or acknowledgement. Still pretty sure we’d be civil, if not friendly, if we got stuck in the same elevator. Probably because we all have abandonment issues and Machiavellian tendencies.