Mama Mia spaghetti carbonara!

The US should be more thankful. And should wear a suit

What are you gonna make?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jail

Pretend you have no concept of electric cars.

“Diesel or gas? Where do you fill it up? Yeah I know how electric cars work, don’t treat me like an idiot. I’m asking where does the fuel go?”

Channel your inner grandpa when being shown the touchscreen. Firmly stab and hold your finger on the screen when pushing buttons. I’m told they don’t have parking brakes, so insist to be shown where the park brake is.

Ask how many miles to the gallon. Haggle endlessly. Make them show you the engine.

The robots have learned of quiet quitting

Australia actually has a fairly robust naval shipbuilding industry in Adelaide, and an established armoured vehicle industry in the east, building bushmasters and Hawkies.

A fair amount of drones and counter-drone systems too.

Swipe left to go left. Swipe right to go right. Pinch to accelerate. Say in a clear voice “Please begin braking” to decelerate.

This is Australia, so the patient would be out of pocket about $2.50 for parking at the hospital.

I bought a roborock Q Revo the other week, and it works great at vacuuming and mopping.

I changed its spoken language to Chinese though, to remind me who I’m living with.

I thought this was a funny gag, until I changed my router and wifi, and then had to update the robots wifi connection with all the voice prompts in chinese

What

Probably about one and a half tits, if you think about it.

This wouldn’t get me through a weekend

“You need to manually eject your USB drive before you remove it” - statements dreamed up by the utterly deranged

Also, half the time when you try to eject it, it says “device busy” even though I’m not transferring files. Well, best of luck with that bud, I’m busy too yank

People who say violence never solved anything have never really been intimate with a printer

Human balls are incredibly great at feeling immense pain at even the slightest slap with a riding crop.

There’s a hole in my pocket 😏

Louis G

I work 7 days a week and I don’t have this problem.

(Jokes, I do, but I like both my week job and my weekend job)

Plastic shopping bag: lasts 1000 years stuck in a bush outside a Tesco without breaking down

Carefully engineered storage medium stored in ambient temperature indoors in a case: