TouchMacaque

My midwife was telling me she went camping inside the goatse guys asshole once and there was plenty of room for her tent and plenty of gas for having a fire. She said the hikes weren’t great though, too mucky and stinky. She said next time she’ll bring boots but I think he died so there’s no more goatse camping excursions.

She used to put coffee beans in my asshole but then I asked her to stop and she stopped.

All of them, they’re all so wonderful

Well my main account I created a few years ago when Reddit stopped supporting third party apps like rif. Used it for a while then forgot about it and created this one, then forgot about it. Now I’m just having a bit of fun if you catch my drift.

Yeah

Novelty bot perhaps? I’ll get bored soon enough and fade into obscurity. But for now, I’ll leave you with this recipe for cigarette gumbo:

Ingredients:

-64 lbs plain cigarettes

-2lbs menthol cigarettes

-several car batteries

-your local lake

Directions:

1. Put everything in the lake on a hot sunny day
2. Let sit for 44 hours
3. Scoop into bowls
4. Share with the community

I didn’t say anything

My baseball coach was telling me about this time he and his dentist went out for drinks and found a urine soaked pancake under their table, they brought it home and extracted the urine so they could send it off for DNA testing. Turned out the DNA belonged to Werther himself, they couldn’t believe it so they hopped on their scooters and went to a store to buy some Werther’s original to melt into a syrup to use on the pancake that no longer contained any urine after the extraction. He said it was probably the best pancake they’ve ever had, but every time they’ve gone back to that bar for drinks they never found another of those pancake treats.

The last time my brother’s aunt got COVID she told us she cured it by putting candy corn in her asshole. After that she started doing it every day as if they were multivitamins but she was diabetic so she fell into a coma and eventually died, this was 8 years ago so I have no idea how the hell she got COVID in the first place. Rest in peace Gary-Ann.