As a Clevelander, who’s used some of those same talking points…are you making a padody of me? You following me around?

I’m on just a regular browser. Can I do this? I don’t use apps.

Am I the only one who says “Smoo”?

I thought the punchline was going to be something like “My wife said she saw a fox on the way to work. I had to to explain to her what a mirror was. Such a ditzy blonde!”

“My Weird Brain” sounds like an 80s sitcom about a brain in a jar that can still somehow talk to people. And the backstory would be something like “One night, a lonely teenager tried ending his life by driving off a cliff. His body was unsalvagable, but his brain is preserved! Now he lives in a jar in the kitchen of government scientists kept secret from the public.”

“My Weird Brain is filmed by a live studio audiance”

…then I see it as lose/lose.

If they’re talking about Whole Foods, it’s because you walk in there, and you’re like “ok, let me get some chicken, let me get some porkchops, and let me get some cereal.”

The prices on all that shit is INSANE. I saw a 5 pack of pork chops for $19. Then I walked over to the chicken. $22. Then I walked over to the cereal. $8.

Total money I spent that day: $0.

Total times I’ve been back since: 0.

These companies have lost sight long ago on the fact that you can do all the bullshit in the world to improve behind the scenes processes, but if people walk in and see THOSE prices, when aldis sells the same chicken for $8, porkchops for $6, and cereal for $3? Fuck it. I don’t give a shit if your chickens are cruelty free grassfed. I’ll kick a chicken and fart in their mouth right now if it means food is cheaper! People out here having to choose between food or rent. Yeah, the high price businesses will suffer. The cheap businesses will flourish.

I haven’t been in a McDonalds in years, but I’ve never seen or heard of this in America.

Then wait in line. I don’t get what you’re suggesting.

Here’s what I don’t understand.

McDonalds has an app. McDonalds also does mobile orders like ubereats. Why not use your own app to allow ordering from the app, so you can be 5 minutes away, order, and when you get there it’s already paid for, you just pick it up.

It eliminates extra fees for customers willing to pick up their own food. It eliminates the line. It reduces the wrong orders (as most mistakes happen from the register worker not ringing it up right to begin with). And no AI needed.

Why is this so hard?

No no no. That’s not how being corrected on the internet works! You have to be wrong, AND be certain that you’re right! THEN someone can come along and say “Actually…”

…I have no idea what this is referencing. Duckduckgo?

I think he paints half his face and talks in a scottish accient about slaves. Pretty sure Jesus was a Scottish slave.

I thought they discontinued the challenger in 1986. The whole brand kinda blew up.

…do you not have a fake email you can log into?

I bet someone has “anyoneemailingmeisacunt@gmail.com”

Yes, but now the car can’t pull data to operate the gas tank.

Oh, I thought you meant a lawsuit from me. When I, a pedestrian am crossing the street with my walk signal, when suddenly, the guy at the opposite side of the intersection just starts driving at a red light because he was distracted by McDonalds. Didn’t even realize his foot was on the pedal, and now I got run over.

Narrator: And that’s when he hit a speed bump, and the whole engine just fell out.

This is like when you see a rapist and a pedophile engage. You’d think they’d be friends, except nope. The rapist is raping the pedophile. You don’t feel sorry for the pedophile, and you don’t cheer the rapist, but you certainly don’t feel the same empathy as if it were some else being raped. Doesn’t make the rapist a good guy though.

And maybe introduce the blueberry!