It didn’t used to be. At least for me and i don’t recall constantly seeing posts on social media about how lonely and sad everyone was or how to make friends. Now every other magazine article is about how lonely everyone is, nobody gets together, and gen Z doesn’t socialize, drink, or have sex.
Why is there such an epidemic of loneliness and why are people content to be lonely rather than socialize?
Why is so hard to connect? Because people having nothing in common anymore? I used to connect with people over books, movies, hobbies, etc. But now it feels increasingly hard to do that. Most folks I meet don’t care about any of that, they just mostly complain about their lives to you or go on political rants about how unfair the world is.
My friends and my dates no longer seem to watch films, or do much of anything other than spend time on social media? I dont’ use social media so I’m pretty ignorant of it all.
For me it’s pandemic got me paranoid about getting sick and I have a family member that is immunocompromised. And conversation always devolves into politics and I get enough of that online so I am burnt out before even making plans. I don’t want to implement a no politics rule because it’s freedom of speech and I don’t want to tread on my friend’s rights if they wanna talk about it. Both reasons are why I don’t visit family anymore either.
Something to think about: a request to take politics off the discussion table is not an infringement on your friend’s rights. What you’re doing is offering a choice: keep talking about other stuff, which will likely make you want to talk with them more frequently, or keep talking about politics, which is draining and makes you less likely to want to talk to them.
There’s definitely other people who they can talk politics to death with if they so choose. You don’t have to accept that yourself if it’s burning you out, unless the other party has literally nothing else to talk about and you want to retain their friendship.
There’s a balance that can be struck here for a better relationship/better shooting the shit experience, but you have to take your own boundaries seriously (said the kettle).
The older I get, the more I understand that old “never discuss politics, religion, or money” adage. Obviously ‘never’ is too far, but in casual discourse too often these just lead to people feeling shittier after the discussion. Save 'em for when there’s a real purpose behind it - supporting change or increasing understanding. Otherwise it’s just bitching, and drains pretty quick.
Politics is definitely a piece of it. Social media has placed it in front of everything. And now, given the amount of threat and violence in it, people do two things.
In most real conversations people dance around speaking about anything political, lest they reveal themselves. And they’re wholly unwilling to move forward with this other person socially until they know their politics. As such, nothing happens.
yes. i have noticed people now ask me straight up how i voted as if this is the most important thing about me, and sometimes when i say i am a democrat they get angry and tell me that i’m not because I don’t ‘look’ like a democrat. it’s super bizarre. also apart from politics i’ve noticed a huge uptick in people who ‘know’ things about me without ever asking me anything about myself.
it’s super duper weird. nobody cared about defining my politics by my face shape in the 2010s. and if you contradict people’s expectations they get ANGRY. they don’t listen to you or apologize.