How to Make a Bong out of Anything

Wasting time on the internet

I’d teach a class on the stupid games women play in relationships and how they destroy relationships. I’d bring in women who played those games and what they lost. I’d use their social media profiles to show what they were posting and how it just creates problems. Then bring in women who didn’t play those games and show their results. I’d bring in intimacy experts like “The libido fairy “ from YouTube to help students understand how to have better relationships.

Actually that might have to be two different classes.

I had an elderly grad school Mammalogy professor who was always thrilled to show us cute fuzzy creatures on a slide show, tell us what was unique, both taxonomically and phylogenetically, about them, and of course if or if not he had gotten a chance to pet them or wanted to still.

I would be thrilled to teach that course with half of the passion he did. Bonus points if it opened doors to work in the field and pet some of those mofos.

Wood Science.

Regular People History

Most of taught history is about and from the perspective of politicians, nobles, inventors, explorers, athletes, scientists - in other words, the outliers. I’m fascinated by the historic lives of regular people, a topic that is hard to research as there is little information about them.

Pathfinder first edition character creation (advanced)

You Are Going To Die: Leveraging Your Existential Dread For Fun And Profit

Syllabus:

1. You are going to die.
2. No, seriously. Dead. Like, dead dead. Forever.
3. Jesus Christ, pay attention, you’re running out of time!!!
4. Practical: putting the fear of God in your heart with a near death experience.
5. Okay, I can see from your shell-shocked faces that you are listening now. Now sit quietly and think about your inevitable death.
6. If you knew you would die tomorrow, what would you do with your last day alive?
7. If you knew you would live to 100, what would you want to do in your life?
8. At the moment you die and everything goes black, you will be alone and must look death in the eye and shake its hand. How will you prepare yourself to face this moment with courage, instead of curling up in a ball and crying like a little bitch?
9. Practical: seeing death out of the corner of your eye - questing into the wilderness and doing an ass-ton of mushrooms.
10. Breaking down your goals into smaller goals: creating an outline for your life.
11. Breaking down your small goals into itty bitty goals that arent so scary.
12. Just fucking show up: the most important part of getting literally anything done.
13. Stick to the program: giving up your ego and just doing as you are told to see if it works.
14. Every day: turning small steps forward into sustainable habits.
15. Playing the numbers game: how to make your own luck.
16. Practical: Grind it out - one month of being a hyper-optimized perfectionist
17. Burnout - what to do when all you do is delay gratification
18. Impatience and frustration: your biggest assets in getting things done
19. Evaluating progress and re-evaluating goals
20. Not good enough - if it’s important, never settle for anything less
21. I want it NOW - realize that your “sensible” plan is actually a form of procrastination
22. Practical: Pull the trigger - challenge your limiting beliefs about what is possible and do something that scares the absolute shit out of you to make your dreams come true.
23. Passive progress - focusing on changing your life so pursuing your goals becomes effortless.
24. The big keys: mindset, health, friends, and environment.
25. Mindset
    25.1) Go touch grass - when you feel hopeless, you probably just need to go outside and not think about anything for a while.
    25.2) Go touch grass - if you are chronically online, you will be extremely anxious about everything because the internet keeps your attention by telling you the world is scary and most people are evil. Stop it.
    25.3) Go touch grass - no, literally. Being in contact with nature will improve your mental health.
    25.4) Anytime something bad happens to you, it is your responsibility to turn it into a learning experience that you can grow from. Yes, even trauma. Especially trauma.
    25.5) Life is a mirror for your mindset - how your beliefs about the world reflect back to become outcomes.
    25.6) Be a contender, not a champion - the real victory is the journey not the outcome.
26. Practical: go backpacking in the wilderness for a week. No electronics.
27. Health
    27.1) Sleep
    27.2) Diet
    27.3) Exercise
28. Practical: do sleep, diet, and exercise right for once in your life.
29. Friends
    29.1) Making new friends: just walk up and say “hi”.
    29.2) Making new friends: go places where people who like the same things you do hang out.
    29.3) Deepening relationships - offering and asking for help.
    29.4) Deepening relationships - share feelings, not just facts.
    29.5) Asking for support - people love to help you when they can see you are already doing the work.
    29.6) Boundaries - establishing and maintaining them.
    29.7) Cutting people out when they are detracting from your life.
    29.7) Yeah, that goes for family, too.
30. Practical: pick a friend or make a new friend. Open up to them about a personal goal, and ask for their support.
31. Environment
    31.1) Pro surfers don’t live in Nebraska - how your environment impacts your success.
    31.2) Move to the right city - if the best in the world don’t live there, you are in the wrong place. 31.3) Move to the right part of the right city - if you can’t walk to where you work on your goals, you are in the wrong place.
    31.4) Move to the right home in the right part of the right city - if you can’t relax at home, you are in the wrong place.
32. Practical: Make a plan to move somewhere better next semester.
33. Remember, you’re going to die - appreciating each moment that you are alive.
34. Final: get wasted at a secret forest rave. Students will be graded based on how shamelessly they embarass themselves on the dance floor. Bonus points for getting shot down trying to hook up with an attractive stranger.

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Musculo-skeletal anatomy. I have taught it already.

“How to Adult 101” and 102. I’m not qualified to teach 103+ though.

Women’s Studies so I can be paid to mansplain.

I don’t know enough to teach it professionally but digital privacy, security, and OSINT. LINUX and GrapheneOS would be prerequisites.

Something in the area of computer/electrical engineering. I want to work in embedded systems engineering, but i only have a computer science degree, so theres a lot of knowledge im missing. If im overly specific with your question, “could” teach can be interpreted as “having the knowledge/ability to”, so yea. Id do that and gain free knowledge in a field that fascinates me

History of labor is what I really should teach but I would enjoy teaching a class on native American art.