• BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works
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    7 days ago

    I’ve noticed the opposite, people post reviews like:

    I changed this, modified this quantity, replaced that, used another cooking duration, it was great, 5 stars.

    Really helpful… /s

  • Mayor Poopington@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    One of the few things I miss on Reddit is a sub called “Ididnthaveeggs” or something like that. Basically a whole sub of the bonkers substitutions people have done. It was always a good read.

    • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      1/5 stars

      I didn’t have sugar, butter, vanilla, or baking powder, and I substituted the milk with cheddar cheese. Also, I don’t have an oven, so I just used a frying pan on the stove top. It turned into an omelet! Would not recommend this cake recipe.

      • slappypantsgo@lemm.ee
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        8 days ago

        It might sound totally insane but this is barely an exaggeration with some of the ones you see submitted there (and I mean ones that aren’t jokes).

        They will absolutely make tons of substitutions and still rate the recipe based on it. It’s infuriating and should be illegal.

        • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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          8 days ago

          This is outrageous. Where are the armed men who come in to take the substituters away? Where are they? This kind of behavior is never tolerated in Boraqua. You cook like that, they put you in jail. Right away. No trial, no nothing. Bakers? We have a special jail for bakers. You’re leaving out ingredients? Right to jail. You’re editing Michelin Star recipes? Right to jail. Right away. You’re whisking too fast? Jail. Slow? Jail. You’re adding too much butter for cakes, pastries, you right to jail. You undercook flan, believe it or not, jail. You overcook quiche, also jail. Undercook, overcook. You make an appointment with the food delivery and you don’t show up? Believe it or not, jail, right away. We have the best cooks in the world, because of jail.

            • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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              6 days ago

              I mean, it still requires heat to caramelize the sugar before mixing ingredients. I’d say that it’s cooking by loose definition, or are you arguing that flan should not be made. No judgment either way. I’m just curious.

            • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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              7 days ago

              [Door to walk-in oven slams shut]

              “Hello, Kaeyghleigh, I’d like to play a game. Next to you are two buttons. One will set the oven to 80F for 350 minutes, the other 350F for 80 minutes. To survive, you’ll need to follow instructions carefu-- [whooshing noise as the gas flames flare up in the oven]. Okay, that was fast.”

    • Asafum@feddit.nl
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      9 days ago

      I tried to make fried eggs but I didn’t have eggs so I replaced them with ice cream.

      0/10 hot ice cream soup isn’t fried eggs!!

    • megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      9 days ago

      I mean, carrots do have a lot of sugar as vegetables go, but it’s like 5% sugar by weight. If you’re cutting out stuff with that low of a ratio, you’re probably taking a low sugar diet a bit far.

      • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 days ago

        I wouldn’t eat a raw carrot either unless I’m looking for a sugar shock but this is like one ingredient of a cake, a fucking CAKE!! What else did you supplement?

        • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          9 days ago

          I wouldn’t eat a raw carrot either unless I’m looking for a sugar shock

          Are you literally out of your mind? Sugar shock from A CARROT??

          Are you sure you’re not confusing “a raw carrot“ with “a big bag of candy”? It’s a common mistake in some cultures, I bet 🤷

        • megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          9 days ago

          Traditionally carrots were used as the main sweetener in carrot cake. Something developed during lean times when honey, fruits and sugar weren’t available. So assuming this person was looking for a “low sugar cake” recipe, they may have found a carrot cake recipe that only used carrots for sweetening.

          … and then they removed the carrots to reduce the sugar content further. So yah it’s going to be an awful cake if there is zero sweetness in it. Like, just make a savory baked good at that point.

  • NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    I asked you for directions to Santa Monica but I decided to drive to the Mojave instead and there was NO BEACH AND NO OCEAN.

    2/5 stars, wouldn’t recommend Santa Monica

  • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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    9 days ago

    So in cooking, I tend to do this sort of thing all the time, but not in a dumb way - for example, when I roast a chicken, if I want a more Asian spin on it, I’d sub out my usual herbs de Provence + fresh parsley/sage/rosemary/thyme for chili crisp, ginger, sambal olek, minced Thai basil, and a bit of cilantro, or something like that.

    But in baking, there’s actual chemistry involved with almost everything, so you do not want to fuck with that unless you actually know what you’re doing…

    • pseudo@jlai.lu
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      9 days ago

      Also I’m so shy to ask the author from explanation when I change a little thing. I know I’m not an expert so maybe for this recipe preheating my oven was actually very important…

      • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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        9 days ago

        But at the same time there’s a difference between making an informed/educated guess on a valid swap vs what these people are doing, which is one short step from “I didn’t have cinnamon sticks so I got some sticks from the tree outside my house”

    • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      when I roast a chicken, if I want a more Asian spin on it, I’d sub out my usual herbs de Provence + fresh parsley/sage/rosemary/thyme for chili crisp, ginger, sambal olek, minced Thai basil, and a bit of cilantro, or something like that.

      Where pepper?

      Anyway; cooking is art, baking is science.

  • Pika@sh.itjust.works
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    9 days ago

    any site worth their salt would remove these reviews as they aren’t based off the product posted since they subbed items

  • SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee
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    9 days ago

    There’s a sub for this on the other site, called “Didn’tHaveEggs”. It’s funny as.

  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    I’ve replaced the celery in the raw celery recipe with pizza. Why am I not losing weight?

    • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      In the 60s of last century (IIRC, was before my time) there was a product called “Millical”, a powder to be mixed with water that provided (according to knowledge back then) every nourishment for the day with a total of 1000kcal (hence the name) per “day pack”. Basically a diet powder. Best comment was “It tastes boring, so instead of water, I mix it with cream.”

    • wabasso@lemmy.ca
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      9 days ago

      I didn’t know this meme until now, and this image is my favourite. Can’t stop laughing.

    • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      “I grilled this pasta for hours and hours, but it wouldn’t go soft!” (Terry Pratchett, “Opera”)

  • Randelung@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    Do people just substitute things that look similar?

    I didn’t like egg whites, so I used soap instead. Ew, it tastes like soap!

  • RedSnt 👓♂️🖥️@feddit.dk
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    9 days ago

    I’m guilty of this. For my pesto recipe I replaced pine nuts with peanuts, olive oil with sunflower oil, basil with spinach, cheese with nooch, but kept the salt, pepper, garlic and citric acid. It’s not exactly pesto anymore at that point, but for a struggle meal it could be a lot worse.

    • Dabundis@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      Technically what you made very well could still be “Pesto”, since the word refers to how it’s prepared not what’s in it (shares the same root as Pestle). The basil, pine nut, olive oil, and cheese recipe you were following would be Pesto alla Genovese

      • MarcomachtKuchen@feddit.org
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        9 days ago

        Well that’s explains why supermarket “Pesto” is allowed to be completely devoid if olive oil. I hate it so much, it tastes wildly different with sunflower oil than with olive oil.

      • Rob Bos@lemmy.ca
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        9 days ago

        For sure. I make pesto sometimes with dandelion leaves, olive oil, and walnuts. Any oil you like the flavour of, any bitter green, any nut. Garlic, however, is mandatory.

    • megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      9 days ago

      Like it’s definitely a different thing, but it’s the same general concept, gonna have a wildly different flavor but fill the same kind of culinary niche.

      Replacing carrot with kale in a freaking carrot cake is like replacing basil with potatoes.

    • sulgoth@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      There are worse ways to riff on a recipe, I don’t know what nooch is but the rest at least sounds like possible replacements. You’re right it wouldn’t be pesto, but I don’t think I’d hate it.

      • RedSnt 👓♂️🖥️@feddit.dk
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        9 days ago

        Nooch is nutritional yeast. It’s probably the most expensive ingredient in the recipe hah, but it goes a long way. Even though I’m not vegan, I’ve dabbled with vegan substitutions and nutritional yeast was probably the best part of that journey.

    • weeeeum@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      Well those ingredients are way more similar to eachother than “eggs and mashed banana”

      Only if you replaced the peanuts with raisins, the basil with pine needles and the olive oil with teriyaki sauce would you have a case for being guilt to this degree.

      • SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        9 days ago

        Actually banana for eggs can work if you know what you’re doing. In many baking recipes, the egg is used as a binder. Pectin (found in fruit) can work as well, but you need to alter the recipe in very specific ways to make it work.

    • kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      What in the poverty is “nooch”? Also, peanuts have too much flavor and spinach too little compared to their counterparts. I can’t even imagine what that tasted like. Along with the rest that just sounds like sour garlic peanut butter. No thank you.

    • 1rre@discuss.tchncs.de
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      9 days ago

      It still probably tastes more like pesto than what you get in a jar from the supermarket

      Unrelated but if anyone wants to try pesto 2.0, sub the basil for wild garlic and half the pine nuts for cashews, it’s a delightful taste sensation.

  • pooberbee (they/she)@lemmy.ml
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    9 days ago

    I’m really loving the last one there. Somehow “shots” is their preferred unit of measure. Most cookies don’t have any liquid ingredients, either, so milk is kind of a wild addition. Then they blame the recipe for being chunky, which I assume is due to the banana that they did a shit job of mashing. The cherry on top is that there is a rating out of five stars at the top (looks like they gave five stars?), but then they throw in a rating out of ten at the bottom. Should have given a thumbs up rating, but I assume the thumbs are busy in their ass.

        • Chef@sh.itjust.works
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          9 days ago

          Hey since no one apparently answered you:

          In baking, you typically have “dry” ingredients and “wet” ingredients.

          Sugar is considered a wet ingredient in the world of baking. In chemistry parlance, it’s hygroscopic so it is mixed with other wet ingredients before adding the dry ingredients.

          Gatekeeping is whack. It took me 60 seconds to give you the real answer.

          • wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works
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            9 days ago

            Thank you. This excellent explanation also shows that SpaceNoodle’s reply has absolutely NOTHING to do with what the original commenter was talking about above (measuring cookie ingredients in “shots”), so who knows what SpaceNoodle’s smoking, but I think I’m good without whatever liquid they’re using instead of sugar in their cookie recipes.

          • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
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            9 days ago

            Oh wow thank you. Keeping this in mind will help me remember to stop mixing in the sugar with the dry ingredients before reading the rest of the recipe, then having to throw out all of it because I find out that the sugar should’ve been mixed with something else. This is something I’ve done way too many times cause I’m an idiot.

          • wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works
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            9 days ago

            No, Dr. “Rather than explaining a patently ridiculous statement, I’m going to make a second vague statement in an effort to make other people feel stupid for kicks”, I’m not a professional baker. I’m a chemistry teacher.

            So, since “I can see you’re not a chemist” (see how pretentiously shitty that sounds?) and you are apparently just about as good at following recipes as the numbskulls here, let me teach you something: while you may be in your baker’s la-la-land with your hard-won recipes and art, if you used simple syrup (or as you call it “liquid sugar”, Chef Cordon-Bleu-At-Home) in ANY of the recipes here (or virtually any online mass-consumption recipe, I have yet to find even one that calls for it) instead of actual sugar, your shitty cookies would be more runny than Yoda’s diarrhea in the swamps of Dagobah.

            Now, either let’s see a common recipe made for lay-people that calls for simple syrup in cookies, or kindly fuck off with your sanctimonious gatekeeping pretense.

            • atomicorange@lemmy.world
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              9 days ago

              Not sure why the person you’re replying to is refusing to explain. Assuming they’re not a TOTAL idiot, I’d guess they’re alluding to a baking rule of thumb for mixing order. Maybe they learned this rule but they don’t actually understand it well enough to talk about it?

              Generally, you include sugar with the “wet” ingredients while baking. It’s a timing thing, it tends to incorporate better and dissolve a little if you mix it with your butter, oil, milk, eggs, etc. Once that’s all mixed in you add your “dry” ingredients like flour and baking soda / powder. Those are easy to over mix so you add them last minute.

              Sugar is not a liquid ingredient, it’s just a rule of thumb, the person you’re replying to is being annoying.

              • wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works
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                9 days ago

                Thank you for the excellent explanation. It’s such a shame that some people are apparently categorically incapable of explaining themselves, and feel the need to gatekeep instead to feel superior.

                This interpretation makes it clear that their comment was a complete non-sequitur, since it is NOT a liquid, and thus is not a “liquid ingredient in cookies” that might be measured in “shots”.

      • Taleya@aussie.zone
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        8 days ago

        “Wet” and “liquid” are not the same word

        (For the confused: with baking you put ingredients in specific orders. Sugar is usually included with the wet ingredients)

      • RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works
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        9 days ago

        They kind of are if you understand what role these ingredients play and why. I was able to make an easy substitution in an oatmeal cookie recipe because the nuts I was adding were primarily bulk as was the oats so the substitution worked out fine. If, on the other hand, I replaced oats with more raisins that might not have worked because the raisins would add more moisture.

        You can replace like for like provided they are doing the same job

        • grue@lemmy.world
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          9 days ago

          They kind of are if you understand what role these ingredients play and why.

          “If”

    • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      Yeah and especially for baking recipes. Like they say cooking is an art and baking is a science. Unlike with cooking you can’t really deviate from a baking recipe unless you know what you are doing other wise it is a guaranteed failure.